we've got the dreamers disease.

Wake up kids
We've got the dreamers disease
Age 14 they got you down on your knees
So polite, you're busy still saying please
Fri-enemies, who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night we smash their Mercedes-Benz
First we run and then we laugh till we cry

but when the night is falling
and you cannot find the light
If you feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget you only get what you give

Four a.m. we ran a miracle mile
we're flat broke but hey we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial

This whole damn world can fall apart
You'll be ok, follow your heart
You're in harms way
I'm right behind
Now say you're mine
Fly high
What's real can't die
You only get what you give
Just dont be afraid to live




..i heard this via my ipod on my drive back from gainesville today.
i'd heard the song easily 100+ times in my life, and it never hit me the way it did today.
that's the beauty of music.

there is an obvious change.

I might not be able to pinpoint exactly what WILL save the music industry, but I think it’s safe to say that Myspace Music won’t be it.

Myspace has fallen on deaf ears; no one cares about music on Myspace anymore… unless they already know what they’re looking for. Users are far too overwhelmed with the multitude of bands who are “for fans of…” or who “really think you’ll like us.” As a Myspace-r, you get bombarded with messages… and quite honestly… users can’t bring themselves to care.

There are a ton of websites that have been created in the past few years that are trying to perfect what consumers (users/fans, whatever you want to call the general population) and artists want from a music website… but a lot of these sites fail to appeal to both markets (right now I am completely excluding venues, labels, management, and the like, who also play an undoubtedly important role in the music space).

Instead of working to fix what already exists, people are creating more websites and blogs, sending artists and fans in completely different directions… spreading their interest so thin that it is destined to break.

I can focus on the highs and lows of every single music website. I can point fingers and tell you what I think should be different… but until I step up to make a change, I have no right.

Something needs to change. Someone needs to put their foot down… say enough is enough… and do something that is going to count. Focus their every breath on something that is going to impact the masses. Sort and present music in a way that isn’t overwhelming… show people new things in a way that is inventive and intuitive… do something that will make people care, again.


And that is exactly what I want to do.



How? I am (and I have been) working on figuring out just that. Talking to the people who most realize the need for change (and a new model)… the people who have seen the industry go through the motions… the people who believe in the music… the ones who don’t just see dollar signs.







Wish me luck.

you'll change your mind come monday.

i'm still not at a place where i can compose my words right, so i'll just use the songs that have my attention right now. maybe some of my favorite musicians can narrate what i'm going through.



i see it around me, i see it in everything... i could be so much more than this.
i said my goodbyes, this is my sundown... i'm gonna be so much more than this
(jimmyeatworld)



and it's only about survival, who has skill to play the game. for all it's worth, reaching out for a scary kind of perfection. let's try to keep as much emotion out of this as possible.
(againstme!)


i suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal.
(incubus)



if you're anything like me, you'll pack your bags and leave... 'cause you know that you'll be going eventually.
(sherwood)

the day i lost my voice

its been a while since i've found the words (or more-so the inspiration) to write in here.

i was spending time while driving the other day trying to craft the words that perfectly explained my mood these days.
what kind of words could explain my life... having been traveling from place to place since late last year (if not three and a half years ago), living out of a suitcase, thinking you found home and realizing you've never been more wrong, feeling alone, feeling let down. needing something but only knowing yourself (and sometimes not even) and the cities you've been to.

this morning, i was given the new copeland c.d.. track 6 came on. and i felt like someone, somewhere understood me. someone finally got it right. aaron marsh, you've done it again.

i've got my life in a suitcase,
i'm ready to run, run, run away.
i've got no time, 'cause i'm always
trying to run, run, run away.
'cause everyday in here feels like it's only a game.
i've got my life in a suitcase.
a suitcase.
a suitcase.

for a moment i was warm and the world made sense.
for a moment here this storm had no consequence.

the way tourist trap captured me when i got home from warped tour, this song took me by the shoulders and shook me.

my belongings have been in (and very occasionally out of) suitcases for at least 11 months. i'm always ready to pick up and leave... now is no exception. two suitcases are in the trunk of my car and i have a duffel bag worth of belongings strewn about my boss's house that i'm currently housesitting. i'm ready to go whenever. nothing is really holding me anywhere. i know where i want to be. but for now, i'm trapped. for the first time in my life, i feel stuck.


nothing i thought existed here really exists. i want familiar landscapes, and familiar faces. baltimore doesn't feel like home, nor do i ever want it to.

i'm ready to run.

it's just a matter of time.

got an idea, got a plan. gonna change the world.

and i'm alive
and i don't need a witness
to know that i survived
i'm not looking for forgiveness
i just need light
i need light in the dark as i search for the resolution

the new Jack's Mannequin is starting to grow on me.

andrew mcmahon crafts phrases in to songs that make you believe that you can overcome anything.

i see it around me, i see it in everything. i could be so much more than this.

it's not the road we used to know, they tore some buildings down
the traffic's like a pack of dogs

there's fewer trees, windows, fleas; concrete on the lawn
there's people here but you are gone

and i fine, still swimming through time
afraid some days i've reached the shore

"make yourself free," man said that to me
now my heart is like an open door...


and the road finally gave me back
but i don't think i'll unpack
'cause i'm not sure if i live here any more


it's not my weight that makes me faint, or the sugar in my blood
but the way these strangers stand so close

they say my name like a guessing game... "is that really you?"
no, I don't think it ever was

in the spring, when the world's turning green
i only think about the fall

the frets on the board, my progression of chords
oh, how i want this to resolve

i've been home from tour for almost three weeks.
my bag is still packed, short of what was in my laundry bag.

i miss the road.
i miss the people on that tour.

i guess three weeks is the longest i've been in miami in years... and it finally feels okay. it finally feels slightly familiar.

i guess i had no choice but to let it.
i guess i can't always run away from cities.



people ask me how long i'm going to be here and i often say "forever" and laugh.
it seems like it has already been forever, and figuring everything out isn't coming easy to me.
i wish things were simple.
i wish i could have everything i wanted without a struggle.
i guess more importantly, i wish i knew what i wanted.


-sm.

i am all or not, you decide.

songs i've been spinning:


colour revolt's "mattresses underwater"
ash to ash, dust to dust,
we're all gonna die
so we have to trust in something...
but it's probably nothing.

...i don't know what it is about this song, but i find it stellar.

brave citizens' revolutions ep is responsible for the next three songs on this list:

"all or not"
let's take to the streets tonight
i miss all the bright lights around this town
cause when it's cold you begin to glow
until morning sun wears you down

...the lyrics to this song remind me of orlando.

"the same way"
the city beats with blue eyes
and her sons and daughters realize
that this isn't home anymore

...pretty fitting for right now.

"how much longer?"
but sometimes all of the best things, they just take more time,
how much longer can we stand to wait?
wish I knew.

and we've been pouring our hearts until they soak up the light,
yeah it's electric how we can beat.


these four songs have been on non-stop for the past few days.


now? celtics game.

The only thing that matters is just following your heart... and eventually, you'll finally get it right.

I don't know how to describe the emotion running through me short of simply calling it nostalgic.

I've been cleaning my room; my mom asked me to do so before I left for tour, since all my belongings from Orlando have been scattered around the house for weeks. To explain, this isn't an ordinary push-things-around 'okay mom, it's clean' deal; I'm convinced that this is legit the most intense cleaning I've done, ever. Just tearing through old papers, and throwing out a ton of things that I should've never kept in the first place, and organizing to the max (actually being able to find things is quite the concept).


In cleaning, I came across a ton of old letters. There are four specific people (Joel, another Joel, Brett, and Jonathan... with a cameo amazing letter from someone who didn't sign it and whose handwriting I can't recognize) whose letters I keep reading, and they've really warmed my heart.


It is unfathomable for me to understand the words these boys were writing when I was way too young to understand them. I used to be so selfish, I used to not have any idea what I wanted from my life, never-the-less from other people, and I acted accordingly. I'm sad that I've lost contact with some people from 'back then,' but I'm still glad they touched me the way they did. Even if it took a few years more than they may have liked.


On top of the four I mentioned, there are a ton of other letters flooding boxes. Letters from old friends promising to be best friends forever. Things change.



I think I've finally condensed everything from Orlando with everything here in Miami. It is definitely a strange feeling, but my room looks pretty amazing. I wish my camera hadn't gotten stolen, as I'd love to take pictures.



Sunday I'm having my last little hurrah in Orlando. Sparky's Flaw at the Social. I love Sparky's Flaw... and I love the Social. After the show, I'm near certain I'll end up at BBQ Bar. Monday, Mom and I are going to Tallahassee to pick up the new puppy.

That black ball of mush... that's our new pup. She's no Tango, but she's damn precious, and I can't wait to get her.






While I'm on the picture-uploading kick, here's some things I painted last weekend:

Nothing too stellar, but I'm glad I got the chance to paint, a little.




My soundtrack for today is Dashboard Confessional's "A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar," mixed with The Ataris' "So Long Astoria." These albums bring me back to where I was when most of the letters I've read today were written; young and stupid.




-sm.

Don't stop believing.

When I was a kid, I got this calendar where each day there was a nonsensical quote. I don't remember the name of it, and it is currently after 7am so I figure that I don't need to act eloquent and try to dazzle you with my words... so I'll get to the point. One of the quotes went "they said it couldn't be done, but that doesn't always work" (Yogi Berra).


The reason I bring this quote up is because sometimes you need to push past what people say won't ever happen and what "won't work" to find what you know in your heart can and will. I started last night with a mental block of how to solve a big problem that I see in the music industry, and spent all night bouncing ideas back and forth with a dear friend, figuring out ways of how everything we thought wasn't possible... is.


Granted the ideas aren't close to being complete. The design is far from perfect. But we have our groundwork... and that means more to me than I can put in to any cliche sounding sentence.


Not too much comes easy. Things are ever-changing and creating something that keeps up with changes is far from simple. But it is possible... and if it is done right, it is worth it.


Never stop believing. Anything is possible. You just need the right people next to you. You need the nights of sitting on patios and seeing shooting stars and rain pouring down. You need the thoughts that sound ridiculous, yet make the most sense. You need the person who doesn't think you're crazy because they're just as insane as you (and I don't mean that in a bad way). You need the sun rising when you're still sitting there; mind-numbed but still going. You need the people who won't give up and who won't let you give up. You need the perfect formula to answer the things you've been thinking about for years. And you need the dedication to keep working towards it, day after day when it seems tough and seems like it "can't" be done... and it seems like no one will believe in you. You just need to keep believing.


"You've got the music in you; don't give up."

Don't stop believing.
-sm

don't you dare back down, you've come too close now.

This weekend was Florida Music Festival, which left me running around Orlando with very little down time. Being at a music conference made me think about a few things, one of which being "what exactly got me in to music?".


Band: Bryan Adams
Album(s): (Everything I Do) I Do For You [Single]
Released in: 1991

I still to this day have this on cassette. I must've listened to it a half million times.


Band: Boys II Men
Album(s): II
Released in: 1994.

No joke. The singles I remember buying were Boys II Men, and the first CD single I remember buying was "One Sweet Day" with them and Mariah Carey. (I also had a bunch of her singles early on. I jumped on my bed singing to them. Oh yeah.) Also reminiscent of this time period was All-4-One's self titled album. I'd bet my last penny that I know the majority if not all of the words to each song on the aforementioned CDs, to this day.


Band: That Dog
Album(s): Totally Crushed Out
Released in: 1994

My dad bought me this CD when I was in Elementary School. A distant relative is the lead vocalist for TD, so I became fascinated. Definitely not appropriate for a kid in Elementary School, but by the time my dad figured it out, I already loved it (not to mention I'm sure I didn't understand it).


Band: Green Day
Album(s): Dookie, Nimrod
Released in: 1994, 1997

I remember loving the hidden track on Dookie at a young age, only to turn it back on a few years later to be mortified at my new found understanding of the song. I remember borrowing someone's copy of Nimrod on a summer camp trip when I was 12 or 13, and attaching myself to every word in every song.


Band: Blink 182
Album(s): Enema Of The State
Released in: 1999

This CD brings back so much middle school nostalgia for me. Blink 182 was the first band I ever really... danced?... to. I remember being at a party in 6th grade and jumping up and down the songs on this CD.


Band: (A) New Found Glory
Album(s): Nothing Gold Can Stay, Self Titled
Released in: 1999, 2000

New Found Glory will forever be in my heart as the band that changed me the most. I finally turned off the 'Nsync, Backstreet and Britney, and opened my ears to something new. The first real concert I went to (discounting Billy Joel/Elton John and local shows) was Buzz Bake Sale 2001 to see them play. I left with bruised ribs from manning my post at the front of the crowd, and I still smiled for four days after. Being 14 was awesome.


Band: Lit
Album(s): A Place In The Sun, Atomic
Released in: 1999, 2001

These albums will forever rest among my top favorite albums. Atomic is one of the only albums I've bought more than once (I admittedly have THREE copies of ANFG's Nothing Gold Can Stay). This band never lets me down.


Band: The Get Up Kids
Album(s): Red Letter Day/Woodson EP, Something To Write Home About
Released in: 2001, 1999.

I bought the Red Letter Day/Woodson EP at my first Warped Tour from some random kid. I had only heard three TGUK songs at that point in time, but I loved them (and had my parent's money to spend), so my yellow-haired 14 year old self purchased the CD. I think it was $5. Shortly after, I bought Something To Write Home About. I fell in love.


Band: The Ataris
Album(s): A bit of End Is Forever mixed with some So Long, Astoria.
Released in: 2001, 2003

The Ataris were the first 'big' band I hung out with, and it changed my life. So Long Astoria is a perfectly crafted album. Basically, Chris Roe is the man.


Band: The Starting Line
Album(s): Say It Like You Mean It
Released in: 2002

This album is so crucial to my generation's discography. Kenny Vasoli put emotion in to perfectly written lines. It captured me.


Band: Finch
Album(s): What It Is To Burn
Released in: 2002

This CD opened my ears. There's no filler on the album, just straight up goodness.


Band: Something Corporate
Album(s): Leaving Through The Window
Released in: 2002

I downloaded "Punk Rock Princess" and "Hurricane" when I found out SoCo was playing a show with New Found Glory. The band took me by complete surprise. LTTW painted perfect pictures in my little mind.


Band: The Used
Album(s): The Used
Released in: 2002

If you know me at all, you've heard my Bert McCracken story. I met him and he (pretty literally) saved my life when I was 15. This CD kept the things he taught me echoing in my ears for a long time.


Band: Unsung Zeros
Album(s): Moments From Mourning
Released in: 2002

I didn't want to like this band before I listened to them (guys, don't kill me for admitting that!). I don't know why, probably because they stole headliner spots over my friend's bands... but I finally saw them play and 'Postcards Home' grabbed me tight. I love Unsung Zeros. I love the raw emotion that Josh could always put in to songs, and I'm really glad to know these guys because they are all incredibly talented.


Band: Brand New
Album(s): Deja Entendu
Released in: 2003

I loved Jesse Lacey circa 2003. I loved his spirit when he played and how in love with what he was doing he seemed. I wish I could see that in more people... I wish I could still see it in him.


Band: Taking Back Sunday
Album(s): Tell All Your Friends
Released in: 2003

Self explanatory. This album is key.


Band: Copeland
Album(s): Beneath Medicine Tree
Released in: 2003

Aaron Marsh NEVER disappoints me. I'm pretty sure talent oozes out of his pores.


Band: Mae
Album(s): Destination: Beautiful
Released in: 2003

In High School, I had one of the coolest best friends. One day, he made me buy this album. It was unlike anything I had heard at that time. I still love it just the same.


Band: Dashboard Confessional
Album(s): A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar
Released in: 2003

C'mon. Seriously. I get so bummed with people who don't like DC. This CD screams of my insane early teen years and the insane nights and array of friends that represent them.



Honorable mentions: Sugarcult's Start Static. Glassjaw's Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Silence. Ace Troubleshooter's Madness of the Crowd. Good Charlotte's Self Titled. Limp Bizkit's Significant Other (OH, COME ON. You loved it too). Weezer's Blue Album. Yellowcard's Ocean Avenue. Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack.

... I think it is safe to say that 2002 and 2003 were full of some pretty influential music in my life.

I'm going to have to make another one of these, one day, with which singles changed me.
All of these albums are beginning to end perfection in my eyes... not only for the music itself, but for what it represents to me; memories, struggles, learning experiences.

What albums and artists got you to love music?
-sm.

Don't accept critique or credit.

My day has barely started, but I've already determined that it is a mix-tape kind of day.
The theme for my mix? Songs that make me smile.


When I saw The Flaming Lips, Wayne Coyne said "I don't think music changes the world, but it changes the way you feel... and that's everything you have."

That said, here are some songs that change the way I feel for the better...

Sondre Lerche's 'Everyone's rooting for you'
you had 'em the moment you walked in;
everyone's rooting just for you.
My friend put this song on a mix-CD that he made me. Without fail, it reminds me that I have great people behind me; people on my side no matter what. Everyone that matters is rooting for me, and that's as close to everyone as I'll ever need.


U2's 'Beautiful Day'
it's a beautiful day;
don't let it get away.
I'm certain that I'll get a little heat for picking such a "cliche" song, but let me explain. First things first, this line is simple. Every day has beauty, and what you do determines if it gets away or stays for you to enjoy. Don't let it get away. Second, I picked this song for the second half of my video when I went skydiving. Every time I hear it, it reminds me to take risks and that I can't be afraid to take a leap.

Sugarcult's 'Head Up'
keep your head up,
your colors are beautiful.
when they say 'give up,'
turn up your radio.
This quote is written around in a few places for me to see. The moral of the song: never give up... no matter what anyone says. Simple enough.

The Format's 'The First Single (Cause A Scene)'
lets make a list of who we need
but its not much if anything
lets make a list of who we need, and we'll throw it away
'cause we don't need anyone. no we don't need anyone.
you know me? oh you think you do, you just don't seem to see
i've been waiting all this time to be something i can't define...
The beat and lyrics to this song are enough to brighten anyone's day, in my opinion. Maybe I'm just a sucker for clap-a-longs, but so be it.

Motion City Soundtrack's 'The Future Freaks Me Out'
i'm on fire and now i think i'm ready
to bust a move, check it out i'm rocking steady
to the beat in my head, it goes oh, oh-oh oh.
If you've ever heard this song, you understand why it is one of my picks. It's straight up catchy and fun.

Jimmy Eat World's 'Here It Goes'
light on up with everybody watching you.
lights go down; everything is yours to lose.
first dancer takes the floor,
laugh what you can't ignore; what you gonna do?
Ignoring the fact that Jim Adkins is a musical genius, this song makes me smile. It is incredibly upbeat and has an 'everyone is coming together' kind of feel. It would be perfect for the ending scene in a movie where the underdog finally wins and is taking a victory lap.



...those six are a good start. After a few more up-beat mix typed days, I'll probably actually make myself a mix of the songs.
I've got a busy night day/night ahead.
Until next time...
-sm.

Every day has a soundtrack.

Every day has a soundtrack.

Movies have them... and I believe that people do, as well.

Sometimes our days are entire albums, where from the first note to the last we think that without a doubt someone else took the thoughts that we couldn't figure out how to write down and put them to music. Sometimes our soundtracks are instrumental; we don't need words to express the way we think and feel. Some days our soundtracks are like mix tapes; cut and recorded over to whatever level of perfection we desire.


No two days are identical, nor are two soundtracks.


Some days one song can make no sense, when other days the same exact song clicks with us. Sometimes we're not ready to hear what artists have tracked for us.


My soundtrack for today is Poverty Branch's "Putting The Old Horse Down".
The lyrics have been carefully crafting my pensive notions in to clear thoughts.

A cloud has covered up tomorrow's sun,
There's a shadow hanging over me.
I've got to get myself together and get back in touch
With the things that mean so much to me.


The bolded line threw me in to a whirlwind of thought about when and where you draw the line on certain dreams.

Some goals that we want just aren't meant to fit in to our lives, no matter how much we want them.


Just cut your losses and move on...


Every day we learn lessons; whether someone else teaches us or we have to teach ourselves.
Some day's lessons are easier than others.

Today's lessons are a little harder to swallow down.
Thankfully I have my day's soundtrack filling my ears... because it understands me more than I do, right now.
-sm.