the day i lost my voice

its been a while since i've found the words (or more-so the inspiration) to write in here.

i was spending time while driving the other day trying to craft the words that perfectly explained my mood these days.
what kind of words could explain my life... having been traveling from place to place since late last year (if not three and a half years ago), living out of a suitcase, thinking you found home and realizing you've never been more wrong, feeling alone, feeling let down. needing something but only knowing yourself (and sometimes not even) and the cities you've been to.

this morning, i was given the new copeland c.d.. track 6 came on. and i felt like someone, somewhere understood me. someone finally got it right. aaron marsh, you've done it again.

i've got my life in a suitcase,
i'm ready to run, run, run away.
i've got no time, 'cause i'm always
trying to run, run, run away.
'cause everyday in here feels like it's only a game.
i've got my life in a suitcase.
a suitcase.
a suitcase.

for a moment i was warm and the world made sense.
for a moment here this storm had no consequence.

the way tourist trap captured me when i got home from warped tour, this song took me by the shoulders and shook me.

my belongings have been in (and very occasionally out of) suitcases for at least 11 months. i'm always ready to pick up and leave... now is no exception. two suitcases are in the trunk of my car and i have a duffel bag worth of belongings strewn about my boss's house that i'm currently housesitting. i'm ready to go whenever. nothing is really holding me anywhere. i know where i want to be. but for now, i'm trapped. for the first time in my life, i feel stuck.


nothing i thought existed here really exists. i want familiar landscapes, and familiar faces. baltimore doesn't feel like home, nor do i ever want it to.

i'm ready to run.

it's just a matter of time.