i am all or not, you decide.

songs i've been spinning:


colour revolt's "mattresses underwater"
ash to ash, dust to dust,
we're all gonna die
so we have to trust in something...
but it's probably nothing.

...i don't know what it is about this song, but i find it stellar.

brave citizens' revolutions ep is responsible for the next three songs on this list:

"all or not"
let's take to the streets tonight
i miss all the bright lights around this town
cause when it's cold you begin to glow
until morning sun wears you down

...the lyrics to this song remind me of orlando.

"the same way"
the city beats with blue eyes
and her sons and daughters realize
that this isn't home anymore

...pretty fitting for right now.

"how much longer?"
but sometimes all of the best things, they just take more time,
how much longer can we stand to wait?
wish I knew.

and we've been pouring our hearts until they soak up the light,
yeah it's electric how we can beat.


these four songs have been on non-stop for the past few days.


now? celtics game.

The only thing that matters is just following your heart... and eventually, you'll finally get it right.

I don't know how to describe the emotion running through me short of simply calling it nostalgic.

I've been cleaning my room; my mom asked me to do so before I left for tour, since all my belongings from Orlando have been scattered around the house for weeks. To explain, this isn't an ordinary push-things-around 'okay mom, it's clean' deal; I'm convinced that this is legit the most intense cleaning I've done, ever. Just tearing through old papers, and throwing out a ton of things that I should've never kept in the first place, and organizing to the max (actually being able to find things is quite the concept).


In cleaning, I came across a ton of old letters. There are four specific people (Joel, another Joel, Brett, and Jonathan... with a cameo amazing letter from someone who didn't sign it and whose handwriting I can't recognize) whose letters I keep reading, and they've really warmed my heart.


It is unfathomable for me to understand the words these boys were writing when I was way too young to understand them. I used to be so selfish, I used to not have any idea what I wanted from my life, never-the-less from other people, and I acted accordingly. I'm sad that I've lost contact with some people from 'back then,' but I'm still glad they touched me the way they did. Even if it took a few years more than they may have liked.


On top of the four I mentioned, there are a ton of other letters flooding boxes. Letters from old friends promising to be best friends forever. Things change.



I think I've finally condensed everything from Orlando with everything here in Miami. It is definitely a strange feeling, but my room looks pretty amazing. I wish my camera hadn't gotten stolen, as I'd love to take pictures.



Sunday I'm having my last little hurrah in Orlando. Sparky's Flaw at the Social. I love Sparky's Flaw... and I love the Social. After the show, I'm near certain I'll end up at BBQ Bar. Monday, Mom and I are going to Tallahassee to pick up the new puppy.

That black ball of mush... that's our new pup. She's no Tango, but she's damn precious, and I can't wait to get her.






While I'm on the picture-uploading kick, here's some things I painted last weekend:

Nothing too stellar, but I'm glad I got the chance to paint, a little.




My soundtrack for today is Dashboard Confessional's "A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar," mixed with The Ataris' "So Long Astoria." These albums bring me back to where I was when most of the letters I've read today were written; young and stupid.




-sm.